I can't feel it

I can't feel your imaginary hug. I think you are huging an another person, a girl. She've got a name, but I don't want say it. I feeling hard.
Oh! My god! this is a stupid thing. I try write well, but is really dificult for me says aaaaaaaaall I want say..
I love english, and i've got an obsession with that. I don't know why, but i like say things in english; this, for example.
Well... Maybe i change the subject. What I want say is I feel sad or bad, becouse you have got a lover and I don't like it, but I think I need acept your decision. I can't do anything. This is really dificult for me, 'couse I've got a boyfriend, and I love you. Now, i think you are the best "thing" happened me. I need you, and you need me, too. I don't know what I waiting, I just need stay with you, and with your love. I want gift you only my love and... me, of course.

This blog is my darie (??. You need understand what i want say.
You know, I love english, and I don't know why...
This time i want write this. I know i made mistakes..